Love has it’s ups and downs, there is no question about it. We all know that in the beginning each person is on their “best behavior” but then over time, once everyone settles into the relationship, sometimes we don’t put forth as much effort as we did in the beginning. I’ve compiled a list of 5 key ways to keep the spice in your relationship and keep each other happy.
1. Communication. It seems like a no brainer, and not worth mentioning. However, I have heard that some couples don’t truly know how to effectively communicate with each other. Communicating with each other doesn’t mean just talking about your relationship, but talk about other things. I suggest setting aside at least 10 minutes each day to talk about anything other than work, the family, the household or the relationship. One of the secrets to starting a conversation is to NOT ask yes/no questions. That won’t lead to free flowing communication. Try starting with tell me something about your childhood that I’ve never known. Or, ask the other person to tell you what they would like most to remembered for.
2. Compliment. Couples who hold hands and offer encouragement and support, over the years are generally more happy. Couples that regularly give each other affirmation tend to stay together for the long haul. In general men crave affirmation more than women. Telling him thank you for washing the dishes, or telling him how much you appreciate him taking out the trash make men want to do it MORE!
3. Spontaneity. Stay on your toes and keep your beloved on their toes as well. Couples that were bored in their relationship were less happy over time. So ditch the norm and mix things up! Do something that you’ve never done before or have done only a handful of times. There are great Living Social, or Groupon Deals happening every day. Scout out those deals and either choose one or use it as inspiration! My man has no idea that we are going to go to Markoff’s Haunted Forest for Halloween! Eeeeeeeks! I’m scared because I’ve never done anything like it before, and I know he hasn’t either! If I die in the forest from one of the evil zombies….at least I will have died doing something spontaneous with my beloved. 🙂
4. Independence. Couples who have their own life outside of their relationship tend to stay happier longer. Maintain your relationship with family and friends. Have interests that are outside of your relationship. These are key to a good healthy relationship because it is imperative that you do not loose who you are as a person just because you are in a relationship.
5. Sex. Sexual stimulation of the genitals stimulater the dopamine system to sustain feelings of romantic love. Not to get too much into the nitty gritty, but “the release” is a good antidepressant. You don’t have to be an expert in every possible way to have sex, but it’s dually beneficial to keep the spontanety in your sex lives as well. Role play, fantasy, Karma Sutra…the list goes on…try and experiment with your partner to explore the many ways you can satisfy your beloved.
If you keep these things at the forefront of your mind, you have an incredibly great chance of staying happy in your relationship.