Yesterday I was talking to my sister who told me that her best friend was getting married and she asked one of her closest friends to be a bridesmaid and the friend told her “no.” My sister said the bride to be went through all kinds of emotions: shock, anger, resentment, and even shed a couple of tears. The bride simply couldn’t understand why her childhood friend would tell her “no.” The bride-to-be expressed that it was a difficult decision to figure out who would be best suited for her small wedding party and that her childhood friend should be honored that she even made the cut to becoming a potential bridesmaid.
Here is what I suggest to any bride-to-be that is facing this exact or similar dilemma.
1. Check your emotions at the door. Once you have gone through the emotions of hearing your friend say no. Call your friend and ask if the two of you could sit down and have coffee to discuss her decision for not wanting to be a part of the wedding party. Sometimes the answer could be as simple as she has other financial commitments and it would be a little too stressful for her to be a part of the wedding party at this time. Certainly, anyone can understand this reason.
2. Listen to her reasons and accept that it was probably quite difficult for your friend to tell you she would not be able to be a participant in your wedding. Think about it, she’s been your friend for quite some time. She wants the best for you and wants to see you happy. She probably thought long and hard about her decision and how she thought you would feel about her declining your offer. Be sympathetic, it was just as hard for her to say as it was for you to hear it.
3. Invite her to the wedding as a guest. Your friend said she wouldn’t be a part of the wedding party, but that doesn’t mean she can support you and sit among the wedding guests. Ask your friend if it’s ok to still invite her as a guest. This will let your friend know that you are not harboring any ill will with her decision and that your friendship remains intact.
I hope these tips were helpful in accepting your bridesmaid’s decision. Remember, this is your wedding; you want everyone involved in the party to be as excited as you are!